So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i wish my penis had a tongue
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
