Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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