I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize