I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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