U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
