i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
this hospital has no fireball
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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