remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize