I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
