My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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