i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
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I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
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Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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