dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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