worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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