i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
