I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Randomize
