i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
