Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize