White coat. Heels.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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