if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
