I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Sober January is a disaster.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
