I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
