Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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