Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
