You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
