it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
