All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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