he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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