is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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