You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
