Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
