Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
