You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
