i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
