I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
