On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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