At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
