Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize