i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
