Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
