CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I still have a little drunk in my system
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
