just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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