idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
