and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize