I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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