We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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