Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
