But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
