It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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