Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
