I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
