We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
