can we get nightvision for the apartment?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
