Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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