I bet he comes in French.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
A bitchslap is in order.
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