what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
