im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
